Higher performing leaders have higher emotional intelligence than leaders who do not perform that well. Studies in the past few years have advocated the importance of developing emotional intelligence abilities such as self-awareness, social awareness, self management and relationship skills.
Researchers such as Coetzee and Schaap mentioned that in their experience that 90% of the difference between star performers and average performers had to do with these emotional intelligence factors. The question is however, how can you as a leader improve your own abilities?
Technique
Emotions are not bad for business; in fact if your emotions are canalized effectively it is probably one of the most powerful attributes a leader can use in his arsenal. Emotions do however influence the way we filter information when we are in a state of anger or jealousy for example. The first technique that can be used to control your emotions, especially if it is a past experience that is fueling the emotion you would like to change, is to take the following few steps:
- First, think back of the situation or encounter you had with someone that angered, disappointed or hurt you.
- Notice whether you see the image or memory in your minds eye from your own eyes or from a third person’s position where you also see yourself in the picture.
- Now, if you see the situation from your own eyes you are associated with this memory, which means that you are experiencing the emotions of what happened internally.
- In your minds eye, move from the first person perspective to the third person perspective or helicopter view, where you see yourself in the picture from a distance.
- Imprint this image and keep it there for a while before thinking of something entirely different.
This technique allows you to learn from the experience without necessarily feeling all the emotions that are associated with it. When we think back to significant occurrences in our childhood, some may be associated (first person view) and others will be disassociated (third person view). The further back a memory is the better the chance that it will already be disassociated.
Our brain automatically teaches itself which memories to store in which manner. But it is our responsibility to take charge of our own minds and memories. If you go back and “re-programme” your brain so that the majority of positive experiences are associated and negative experiences disassociated, chances are your brain will pick it up quickly and handle it according to the new pattern you created.
The test for good leadership is in part the manner in which you are able to use the correct emotions for the correct circumstances. The core to this ability is being aware of your own thoughts and how you process memories, ensuring that your past is not used as a collar that keeps holding you back from your future.
